December Rain

Image by Eric Canete
Words by Jonathan Tsuei

The December rains were coming down harder than I could remember. Each drop felt like an icicle piercing my skin and left me numb. Charlie was as faithful as ever, tolerating the rain with me. He hated the rain. I knew she would be here tonight, but I had no idea she would look as beautiful as she did. It wasn’t her silk gown that trailed behind her in a magnificent train. It wasn’t how her hair was pulled back perfectly so the world could see her face. It was the gleam in her eye. She was in love; in love with someone other than me.

I called out her name tentatively and she paused, she recognized my voice. I managed a smile, but I could not disguise my longing. Charlie did his best to feign pride for us both.

“What are you doing here?” she asked me.

“I had to see you,” I managed as the rain thundered down around us.

“Didn’t have time to find an umbrella?” she said with a smile that still sent a tingling sensation across my body.

“I didn’t have time for that. Listen-“

“No,” she said as she shook her head. “I know why you’re here, but you can’t do this to me now. We went through all of this after we broke up. You would come rushing back into my life and I would drop everything to see if it could work again, to see if anything changed, but it was always the same thing with us. I love you, I have loved you for a very long time and I kept coming back to you because I thought you were the one for me. I know now that as much as I love you, I’m no longer in love with you. I have to move on, so do you.” She paused, “I’m happy now.”

That tingling sensation her smile made me feel gave way to the numbness of the cold rain. I remember telling her that all that was important to me was her happiness. I just never thought that someone else would be able to make her happier than I could. Here I was staring at the love of my life with a broken heart and reality shattered the broken pieces into nothing more than dust. I could almost see the dust get swept away in the water pouring down from one stair to the next.

“Is there nothing I can say or do?” I asked. I could feel the tears start to come on, but I forced them back.

The look on her face softened and for a split second I could see that gleam in her eye redirect it’s light on me. “There is so much you can do and say to make me come back to you,” she said almost too quietly for me to hear. “I’ve decided to move on and I’m sorry to say this to you, but I won’t let you pull me back in.”

That final look she gave me as she turned to leave was a mix of sadness and hope. However, it wasn’t a hope for us. It was a hope that she was making the right decision. It was a hope that her happiness would last this time. I wanted to run toward her and hold her, but I stood my ground and just watched her leave. Charlie let out a bark. She kept walking.